I have a confession to make. I hate women’s ministry.
I not into flower arranging, quilting, cooking, or any the particular womanly virtues most women enjoy. Most ‘women’s ministry’ activities drive me nuts.
I’m a weird woman.
I don’t like to gossip, snoop, or tend to others business.
I used to think all women were like that—and I didn’t like them very much. I’ve always had more men friends than women friends. Women don’t like me much. I’d rather talk ideas than people.
That was before MOPS. I have been the mentor mom for our Mothers of Preschoolers Ministry in our church for over a dozen years, and I’ve come to realize I do share the most important trait of the feminine psyche—the drive to nurture and protect meaningful relationships, to be the best wife, the best mom, the best daughter-in-law I could be. I’m proud that my adult kids are my best friends and my husband of forty-seven years is my friend, my lover and the father of all our five children.
MOPS has taught me women are magic, mystical creatures, uniquely formed and gifted with tenacity, strength, and resilience—awesome creatures! We are the keepers of the home, the heart of the family, the watch-keeper of those we love. We stay up nights, rise up mornings and work throughout the days to make home beautiful, clean, and warm. Our lives revolve around those we love—even if we work outside the home.
I have watched women refuse to give up on their marriage, spend weeks traveling back and forth to the NIC-U, weep over their troubled kids, out-of-work husbands, or pour out their time and energy for a friend. Remarkable creatures, women. Steel Magnolias. I honor them.
I came into MOPS through the back door. My daughter came home with a two year old boy and within a year realized she needed more education to be a single mom and provide him with all she wanted for him. Day care wouldn’t work for my grandson—he clung to his mother or me with an abandoned child’s ferocity.
Our church began a MOPS ministry, and I volunteered to help with childcare—K.J. needed a playgroup, he needed to build relationships with other children, so I went into the two-year-old group with him.
Because I had founded a pregnancy help ministry, when the women wanted a speaker to help them teach their children healthy sexuality, they asked if I would step out of the childcare room one week. At the end of the year, they asked me to mentor, and I’ve done it ever since.
I love MOPS! Mothers of Preschoolers is a God-inspired program. A good MOPS group is a support group for mothers—advertized in the paper, featured on TV, spread by word-of-mouth. Come, learn how to be the best wife and mom you can, get help, cry over your struggles, and have a few blessed hours a month talking grown up talk while your children are lovingly cared for.
It is not a Bible study.
It is not ‘religious.’
A good MOPS group gives loving welcome to all. A warm, attractive setting, supportive and caring friends, and interesting programs to teach basic parenting skills: discipline, love languages, financial planning, plus a few just for fun days: manicures, fashion shows, tea parties. Fringe activities include playdates in one another’s homes, and the favorite mom’s night out. Mothers deserve them!
Now to the mentor part.
I meet every time the team meets—our monthly planning sessions, and the monthly discussion group leaders’ meeting and an annual overnight strategic planning retreat. I pour into these young women. I may have some advice or I not have a clue how to help them with the problems they face, but I can, and I do, love them. Do you remember being young and insecure, afraid you were scarring your children for life. We know kids are survivors, with love they will turn out okay. How nice it would have been for me to feel someone in my corner. As a mentor, I am in their corner. My job is to love them, and that love enables them to reach out and learn. Without love, words are meaningless. An older woman who dictates, mistrusts, or knows it all is unable to produce disciples. More is ‘caught’ than taught. The disciples learned the ways of the Master by living with him, day in and day out, seeing his prayer life, watching his self-sacrificial example hour by hour, even when he was exhausted.
I have the privilege of seeing women grow in grace and in the knowledge of the Lord as they meet the challenges of leadership and relationship. We pray together, weep together and come to love each other deeply. MOPS women are different, they have caught the vision of Agape love.
Mentoring is a buzzword today, but it sounds more serious than it is. As the mentor mom for the Mothers Of Preschoolers (MOPS) ministry in our local church for over a decade, I can attest to the challenges, joys, and unique opportunities waiting for the individual willing to assume a mentor role in the lives of others. Because these young mothers graduate when their children are no longer preschool age, each year we have a new leadership team. I see myself in a real-life leapfrog role, helping young women advance forward on the back of my experience. If I can share my mistakes and be vulnerable enough to expose my failures and missed opportunities I can help others not to go there. I have accomplished my mission and saved some heartbreak.
Why should those of us who have achieved a certain season of rest and relaxation roll up our sleeves to take on the new challenges mentoring others brings? We are in times of rapid change, increased demands for leadership, and an urgent call to the Master’s Harvest of the earth. In short, time as we know it may be running out, and every local congregation worth its salt needs ready workers for the tasks at hand. Older Christians have arrived at a place in life through the perfecting trials that have shaped us, and we can impart disciplines, experience, and wisdom to the coming generation of leaders. II Corinthians urges believers to “. . . Comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God [II Corinthians 1:4b, KJV].”
Those of us who have experienced the financial distress and emotional pain divorce has visited, especially upon our children, are uniquely positioned to facilitate divorce care ministries. Women who have suffered an abortion make the best volunteers in our pregnancy help center. How can we see others in need, suffering what we have survived, and withhold the testimony we have after we have gone through similar experiences and found victory and new beginnings? Often our hardest struggles opened new doors and brought us new opportunities. Because of abandonment and divorce, a young woman returned to school and entered an entirely different career, one she may never have dared to dream. Now this one-time homemaker has become an esteemed attorney in her community. It is right and good to birth hope and encouragement in the lives of those around us who are caught in crisis.
Because time appears to be running out for planet earth, we need to take short-cuts to achieve the goals our Master has laid out for the Church. We do not have to re-invent the wheel. We talk about those paths we took that turned into dead ends. Why let the young believer butt his head against the brick wall that we were unable to knock down with our own hard heads? If you have made your way to freedom by following a certain path, share the map! The slaves who traveled the Underground Railroad left maps on quilts or scraps of paper, indicating safe houses, refuges, pitfalls, and shortcuts. We can follow their example—whom the Son sets free is free indeed! Reach back, lend a hand, spare others some of the time-consuming and heart-wrenching wrong turns you have made.
Opportunities abound to mentor others. Many congregations have discipleship groups, and older believers lead a Bible study, prayer group, or study fellowship to encourage, support and train new believers. Almost every local church has a youth group desperate for adult supervision. You don’t need a degree in child psychology or education to be a role model for teens. Anyone who has out-lived the teen years can fulfill the requirements—you have been a teen at one time in your life! Likewise the children’s ministry in your church needs moms and dads who have, both successfully and unsuccessfully, disciplined, cuddled, and guided their own children through the toddler and elementary years. You meet the requirement for work in children’s ministry—you have loved a child.
Mentoring the young mom-leaders who make up our MOPS leadership teams has been a fantastic and rewarding experience for me personally. I am qualified—I survived five toddlers, and I am (relatively) sane and whole. Life did not pass me by after years of baby talk and diapers. How encouraging it is for those caught in the demanding preschool years to see me able to laugh, cry, and share those precious memories.
Beyond the benefits extended to others, mentoring is especially gratifying and rewarding for the mentor. Being around enthusiastic young women keeps me young. I don’t have to be out of style or unaware of the newest vocabulary, nor left behind the dustbin of disregard. I don’t feel old or set aside. I feel active, participatory, vibrant, and valuable. Laugh often, live well, and keep learning—your brain will be stimulated, your body invigorated, and your psyche renewed. We could mention obedience to God’s Word, which exhorts the elder women to teach the younger women to love their husbands and their children [Titus 2:4], but obedience is not a chore—it’s a privilege and an adventure! The challenge is there, and the call is not so daunting.
This generation is much more open to mentoring than mine was. No one could tell me anything when I was a young woman. I was smart, educated, and successful. I knew more than my teachers and way more than my parents. Today’s young adults have seen their parents’ lives shipwrecked by divorce. If their family does have a good auntie, uncle or parent who could support them, often they are separated from those extended families. I have found them welcoming a ‘word from the wise.’ I am amazed at their openness and honesty in sharing their own struggles, and their compassion and tenderness when I share my failures. Don’t be afraid, be human, be vulnerable, be a mentor.
Jesus only rebuked his disciples for lack of faith—oh, and not allowing the children to come to Him—saving his rebukes for religious leaders who were hypocrites. After feeding five thousand and then four thousand, how could his disciples fret over no bread on their sail across the lake? The Master could feed thirteen men if he had fed thousands! Yet I faltered over less than that last week.
My blog masters called me last Monday, asking if I knew my website was down. No. We worked all morning to discover why, knocking on closed doors. Word Press had closed my site, handing it off to another company. Me of little faith wept. I am launching a new book. A Place to Live came out last month and I’m in the midst of marketing it. All my marketing has the old website name on it. Didn’t God know this?
Of course He did, and by the end of the day my wonderful blog masters at Celebrity Web Design had a new one set up, one that I own: charlottesnead.com
How cool is that? Just my name. I didn’t even know I could do that. God can do exceeding abundantly. So I downloaded all my subscribers and notified them of the name change. Since that time, I have doubled them! Thank you, God. Like the father I cry out: I believe, Lord, help Thou mine unbelief. Forgive me.
Back to the hospital
Charlotte Snead
9/25/2019
I'm not Dead
Charlotte Snead
9/3/2019
Family Reunion
Charlotte Snead
7/22/2019
Two More books
Charlotte Snead
7/8/2019
Home from writing conference
Charlotte SneadJoe and I returned Saturday from Saint David’s Christian Writers, my favorite conference—so much laughter, as well as serious study. M
6/25/2019
His and hers Hospitalizations
Charlotte Snead
6/17/2019
The unoffendable
Charlotte Snead
5/31/2019
Where Have I been?
Charlotte Snead
5/28/2019
What Love Isn't
Charlotte Snead
5/4/2019
Joe Hits the Ground Running
Charlotte Snead
4/25/2019
A lesson in appreciation
Charlotte Snead
4/17/2019
Savor the Moments
Charlotte Snead
4/10/2019
He was my Baby
Charlotte Snead
3/28/2019
Catching up
Charlotte Snead
3/15/2019
Having fun working
Charlotte Snead
2/12/2019
Steal Away Again
Charlotte Snead
1/31/2019
Memories Past
Charlotte Snead
1/11/2019
Hail 2019
Charlotte Snead
1/3/2019
Catching Up
Charlotte Snead
11/29/2018
Thanksgiving
Charlotte
11/21/2018
Veterans Day
Charlotte Snead
11/13/2018
Election Day
Charlotte Snead
11/6/2018
Fornifiication
Charlotte Snead
10/18/2018
KEEPING A LINE IN THE WATER
Charlotte Snead
10/2/2018
First Children's book
Charlotte Snead
9/6/2018
What love isn't
Charlotte Snead
8/28/2018
Go for the Honey
Charlotte
8/17/2018
Off the recliner!
Charlotte Snead
8/10/2018
Graduation
Charlotte
8/1/2018
WINSLOW FARM
Charlotte
7/14/2018
Typing one Handed
Charlotte
7/6/2018
Our trip to Nashville, with a visit to Johnson City
Charlotte Snead
6/18/2018
I Hate Technology!
Charlotte Snead
6/4/2018
Bleckly Bunch 2018
Charlotte Snead
5/24/2018
Good-bye
Charlotte
5/21/2018
When it Rains
Charlotte Snead
5/9/2018
Steve and Holt
Charlotte Snead
5/2/2018
No More Tomorrows
Charlotte Snead
4/24/2018
Good News
Charlotte Snead
4/11/2018
He Is Risen Indeed, Hallelujah!
Charlotte Snead
4/3/2018
MOPS--not with a bucket
Charlotte Snead
3/22/2018
Ready for Spring
Charlotte Snead
3/14/2018
Blessed Author, Patient Husband
Charlotte Snead
3/7/2018
Cruisig withForever Friends
Charlotte
2/18/2018
Forever Friends
Charlotte
2/10/2018
Deliver us from the strife of tongues
Charlotte Snead
1/31/2018
Using vulnerability when you witness
Charlotte Snead
1/23/2018
Help your favorite author get published
Charlotte Snead
1/16/2018
Trials are Testimonies
Charlotte Snead
1/9/2018
Does God have a portal to heaven?
Charlotte S. Snead
1/3/2018
Anthology in January
Charlotte S. Snead
12/22/2017
Writing from Heart-felt Experience
Charlotte S. Snead
12/12/2017
Heaven's Gain
Charlotte S. Snead
11/30/2017
Cancun Wedding
Charlotte Snead
11/22/2017
God's Perfect Will
Charlotte S. Snead
11/14/2017
On an Author Roll
Charlotte S. Snead
10/23/2017
Gabriel's Wings
Charlotte S. Snead
10/16/2017
Las Vegas Happened
Charlotte S. Snead
10/13/2017
Autumn reflections
Charlotte S. Snead
10/4/2017
A Faith to Die For
Charlotte S. Snead
9/25/2017
Arrows
Charlotte S. Snead
9/19/2017
And the Good News Is . . .
Charlotte S. Snead
9/6/2017
Mothers: Joined with the Creator
Charlotte S. Snead
8/30/2017
Legacy
Charlotte S. Snead
8/22/2017
Stop the World (I want to get off)
Charlotte S. Snead
8/9/2017
My Pitiful Cross
Charlotte S. Snead
8/2/2017
Learning to Die
Charlotte S. Snead
7/28/2017
Independence Day
Charlotte S. Snead
7/5/2017
Hanging with My Tribe
Charlotte Snead
6/30/2017
Always My Son
Charlotte S. Snead
6/20/2017
Let us love
Charlotte S. Snead
6/15/2017
Goodbyes
Charlotte S. Snead
6/6/2017
The Bleckley Bunch Revisited
Charlotte
5/25/2017
How Much Time?
Charlotte
5/18/2017
Celebrate
Charlotte S. Snead
5/10/2017
Defying the Second Law of Thermodynamics
Charlotte S. Snead
5/3/2017
The Meaning of the Plow
Charlotte Snead
4/18/2017
And Peter
Charlotte S. Snead
4/7/2017
Stop. Bring him to Me.
Charlotte S. Snead
3/28/2017
A Place to Live
Charlotte S. Snead
3/24/2017
Mentoring the Next Generation--A Call
Charlotte S. Snead
3/17/2017
To Know and Be Known
Charlotte S. Snead
3/7/2017
It Ain't Over
Charlotte S. Snead
2/15/2017
Broken Bread and Poured out Wine
Charlotte S. Snead
2/8/2017
How Beautiful is the Body of Christ
Charlotte S. Snead
2/2/2017
Purpose, Passion and Platform
Charlotte S. Snead
2/1/2017
Heatsinks
Charlotte S. Snead
1/26/2017
Birthdays, A Time to Reflect
Charlotte S. Snead
1/17/2017
Creation Groans
Charlotte S. Snead
1/11/2017
Fifty-four Years--but who's counting?
Charlotte S. Snead
12/30/2016
Amazing People
Charlotte S. Snead
12/15/2016
Full of Thanks-giving
Charlotte S. Snead
11/28/2016
Seasons
Charlotte S. Snead
10/29/2016
Sometimes Its For Worse
Charlotte S. Snead
10/6/2016
Love for a Lifetime
Charlotte S. Snead
9/22/2016
We Are Mops
Charlotte S. Snead
9/7/2016
Birthday/Conference
Charlotte S. Snead
8/30/2016
It Takes Two
Charlotte S. Snead
8/5/2016
Growing Family
Charlotte S. Snead
7/11/2016
WV Flood
Charlotte S. Snead
7/5/2016
Golf Course in Heaven
Charlotte S. Snead
6/17/2016
No Time to Cry
Charlotte S. Snead
6/6/2016
A Season of Travel
Charlotte S. Snead
5/25/2016
For the Love of Family
Charlotte S. Snead
4/25/2016
God Pulls a Rescue
Charlotte S. Snead
4/7/2016
A Work in Progress, my manuscript and I
Charlotte S. Snead
4/2/2016
The Trees Talk to Her
Charlotte S. Snead
3/22/2016
On An Author Roll
Charlotte S. Snead
3/12/2016
Jan Carol Publishing
Charlotte S. Snead
2/29/2016
Steal Away
Charlotte S. Snead
2/15/2016
After Christmas, What?
Charlotte S. Snead
12/28/2015
Christmas Prioirities
Charlotte S. Snead
12/17/2015
When the Vision Tarries
Charlotte S. Snead
11/17/2015
Thanksgiving
Charlotte S. Snead
11/9/2015
Darkness Comes
Charlotte S. Snead
11/3/2015
Happenstance
Charlotte S. Snead
10/13/2015
Christianity: Before and After
Charlotte S. Snead
9/23/2015
Going and Growing Family
Charlotte S. Snead
9/16/2015
Amazon Review of "His Brother's Wife"
Charlotte S. Snead
8/21/2015
Challenge to a Christian Team
Charlotte S. Snead
8/21/2015
Why Do We love Fairy Tales?
Charlotte S. Snead
8/21/2015
And the Family Goes On
Charlotte S. Snead
8/21/2015
Through Faith and Patience
Charlotte S. Snead
8/18/2015
Family Heritage
Charlotte S. Snead
8/12/2015
When prayers are desperate pleas
Charlotte S. Snead
6/29/2015
Bear One another's burdens
Charlotte S. Snead
6/15/2015
Giggling Girls and Watchful Warriors
Charlotte S. Snead
6/8/2015
The Bleckly Bunch
Charlotte S. Snead
5/25/2015
Godly Relationships
Charlotte S. Snead
5/23/2015
Steel Magnolias
Charlotte S. Snead
5/17/2015
Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God
Charlotte S. Snead
5/13/2015
Something to Die for
Charlotte S. Snead
4/25/2015
Dawn Comes
Charlotte S. Snead
4/20/2015
He is Risen!
Charlotte S. Snead
4/4/2015
Because I can't Not
Charlotte S. Snead
3/3/2015
When Work Turns Sour
Charlotte S. Snead
1/27/2015
Family Christmas, 2014
Charlotte S. Snead
1/5/2015
Christmas 2014
Charlotte S. Snead
12/23/2014
Giving Thanks
Charlotte S. Snead
11/24/2014
To Warm an Author's Heart
Charlotte S, Snead
11/2/2014
Smashed in the Potter's House
Charlotte S. Snead
10/1/2014
Recovered and Free
Charlotte S. Snead
9/15/2014
Ouch!
Charlotte S. Snead
9/15/2014
Priorities
Charlotte S. Snead
9/9/2014
Serve, however God leads
Charlotte S. Snead
8/27/2014
The Gospel, however it's told.
Charlotte S. Snead
8/20/2014
Two new books!
Charlotte S. Snead
8/7/2014
Planes, trains, ship, and . . . books
Charlotte S. Snead
7/24/2014
To wait, or not to wait, that is the question
Charlotte S. Snead
6/4/2014
Though the Vision Tarry, wait for it
Charlotte S. Snead
5/5/2014
Excuse my absence
Charlotte S. Snead
5/5/2014
Waiting
Charlotte S. Snead
3/25/2014
Intimacy and Marriage
Charlotte S. Snead
1/22/2014
A Time to Renew
Charlotte S. Snead
1/7/2014
Thanks for the little things
Charlotte S. Snead
11/27/2013
Move over, Joseph
Charlotte S. Snead
10/31/2013
The Seed of the Righteous
Charlotte S. Snead
10/8/2013
My Best Friend
Charlotte S. Snead
9/18/2013
Good News
Charlotte S. Snead
8/31/2013
God is merciful
Charlotte S. Snead
8/22/2013
My Grandson?s Wedding
Charlotte S. Snead
8/12/2013
Staying in Touch
Charlotte S. Snead
7/18/2013
ON BEING A SLUG
Charlotte S. Snead
7/10/2013
Passion is Sacred for me
Charlotte S. Snead
6/4/2013
Sacred Passion
Charlotte S. Snead
5/28/2013
The Vulnerable Writer
Charlotte S. Snead
4/7/2013
The Mother's Plow
Charlotte S. Snead
2/23/2013
Twelve Oxen and the Plows
Charlotte S. Snead
2/6/2013
Life's New Oppportunities
Charlotte S. Snead
2/4/2013
The First Fifty Years are the Hardest
Charlotte S. Snead
12/31/2012
Naked, I Wept
Charlotte S. Snead
12/18/2012
Inspirational Weekend
Charlotte S. Snead
12/4/2012
Good news!
Charlotte S. Snead
11/19/2012
Jesus is not a Republican
Charlotte S. Snead
11/12/2012
Still very Alive!
Charlotte S. Snead
11/5/2012
Recalibrating
Charlotte S. Snead
9/8/2012
Another Season
Charlotte S. Snead
8/8/2012
New Short Story Available
Charlotte S. Snead
7/28/2012
THE GREAT STORM
Charlotte S. Snead
7/3/2012
Life is short-make it count!
Charlotte S. Snead
6/18/2012
What I've been up to!
Charlotte S. Snead
6/15/2012
God's Mighty River
Charlotte S. Snead
5/19/2012
The Strongest Thing in the World
Charlotte S. Snead
5/9/2012
Not returnable
Charlotte S. Snead
4/19/2012
Short stories and appearances
Charlotte S. Snead
4/7/2012
Spring
Charlotte S. Snead
4/2/2012
Raising your freak-out threshold
Charlotte S. Snead
3/27/2012
New offering at Harpstring
Charlotte S. Snead
3/26/2012
Kidnapped
Charlotte S. Snead
3/15/2012
Current Events
Chrlotte S. Snead
3/9/2012
Publication, Here we come!
Charlotte S. Snead
2/24/2012
Grow old with me . . .
Charlotte S. Snead
2/11/2012
Love your Husband
Charlotte S. Snead
1/26/2012
Am I crucified yet?
Charlotte S. Snead
1/12/2012
God's Not Dead, and Neither Am I!
Charlotte S. Snead
12/21/2011
He will turn your mourning into dancing
Charlotte S. Snead
11/25/2011
It's Not about Me
Charlotte S. Snead
11/14/2011
We Need MOPS
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
Significance
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
Seasons
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
Safe Places
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
Where's the Romance?
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
Why MOPS, Why a Mentor
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
Perspective
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
Unplanned
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
Welcome!
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
Mentor's Moments: Masterpiece Originals
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
Christmas
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
Gratitude
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
My baby's wedding
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
Life Review
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
Always My Son
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
Challenge to New Life:Going Broody
Charlotte S. Snead
11/11/2011
On to Texas!
Charlotte S. Snead
10/27/2011
North Carolina
Charlotte S. Snead
10/21/2011
Motherhood as a Profession
Charlotte S. Snead
1/11/2011
It Is Finished!
Charlotte S. Snead
1/11/2011